Positively No Negativity Challenge
Day 79 of 84
After yesterday’s lighthearted interlude, I am going to come clean on my negativity/positivity.
I have been in a negative mood for the past couple of days, and it’s been difficult to shake it off. Sometimes it takes me a long time to process things.
On Sundays I go to church. I like going to church; people at my church like me, or at least I think they do. When I moved to Nova Scotia four years ago, one of the very first things I did was to find a church community to be a part of. It was a great way to find a sense of belonging, a community, a safe place to be myself and a place to reach out to others.
A place to sit quietly and listen for God’s still small voice as I adjusted to this new life.
Over these past four years I have very slowly gotten involved in some activities, made friends, and a couple of months ago I finally became a member of my church.
I guess you could say I finally decided to call it home. Home is where you are accepted and loved and where you can be yourself without having to pretend to be someone you are not. Home is where you are comfortable and at ease no matter what is going on in the outside world.
I find that people at Kings are friendly, helpful, accepting and positive. When I go there I feel at peace most of the time. If I go there with hurts or angst or troubles, I find a measure of peace, and I come home feeling uplifted.
So why did I come home from church on Sunday and hide in my office for two days?
Something happened that burst my bubble. Someone spoke harshly to me on Sunday at church. My peaceful sanctuary had been violated and I’ve had a hard time to accept that fact. It made me feel all those negative things: unworthy, small, broken and sad.
Why is it that I let someone elses personal problems invade my happiness and positive attitude? I guess it’s because the words hurt me. Should I let those words be like water on a duck’s back? Just let them roll off?
So I’ve been trying to listen to that “still small voice” within. It’s telling me to forgive that person and just move on.
However, I am still fabulous and I know that! So I will do what I have to do and get on with my life. If not for this No Negativity Challenge and God, I don’t know if I would be able to do that.
Thanks for reading!