Positively No Negativity Challenge
Day 73 of 84
Do people close to you let you down? Do they disappoint you? Does that put you into a funk?
A key to positivity for me is to get rid of the expectations I have of other people. You know the kind:
You expect your friends to invite you to their daughter’s wedding.
You expect your kids to call you on your birthday, Mother’s Day, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter and Groundhog Day.
You expect your partner to be there for you and to meet all your emotional needs.
You expect your boss to go to bat for you in that sticky situation at work.
And when those things don’t happen you are disappointed, even upset with the person who let you down.
Can you relate?
Well, maybe your friends could only afford a small wedding and had to pare down the guest list for their daughter’s wedding. And maybe your children have issues in their lives that you don’t know about. Or maybe they tried to call you but the line was busy. Perhaps your partner is just not capable of being all, doing all that you expect of him. He loves you but doesn’t have psychologist attributes, and therefore he feels helpless in the face of your turbulent emotions.
At some time or another everyone will let you down, and you will let people close to you down as well. It’s just a fact of life. We’re not perfect and we cannot be all things to all people all of the time.
When you have expectations of other people, it puts them in a position of trying to make you happy, and I don’t think that ever works. Is my partner responsible for my happiness? Am I responsible for his? In actuality, we are each responsible for our own happiness. While it is true that being happy is often a by-product of our circumstances, it is up to us to decide how we will react and adapt to those circumstances.
As Abraham Lincoln said, “People are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.”
People rarely behave exactly the way you want or expect them to. Hope for the best, but expect less. And remember, the magnitude of your happiness and positivity will be directly proportional to your thoughts and how you choose to think about things.
Ok so here’s the thing that really prompted this entry. Last week I went out for a late lunch at my favorite café. I was planning to have a Mediterranean wrap, my fave. I guess it was everyone else’s favorite café as well, because they literally had no food left. So I had a coffee and a muffin (which was not on my plan) and then I called hubby to let him know how distressed I was. We talked about supper options and left it at that. Finally I got home at suppertime and, can you imagine what Dave had made for me? You guessed it…nothing! Truth be told, I was so expecting him to have something delectable ready for supper, I was salivating. Disappointed? You bet! A little angry? That too. Did I ruin the evening with my expectations? Yes.
Today I am grateful:
1. For trials that have taught me more about myself
2. For my desk
3. For the rocking chair I sit in every day to write
4. For broccoli soup on a cold day
5. For three conversations with people I love