Positively No Negativity Challenge
Day 64 of 84
“ Here you are doing a no negativity challenge and you’re being as negative as before you started. And you’re intolerant as well.”
That’s what Dave said to me on the weekend. It stung, it hurt; it was a slap in the face, but it was true. I could feel myself getting tense over the past few days and was powerless to do much about it. Some days just don’t progress in a good way and I end up hating everyone, everything and am generally grumpy. When I lived in Quebec, on those days I would tell people, “ Je ne suis pas un cadeau aujourd ‘hui.” In other words, if you don’t want to get hit by a bomb of negativity, just stay away.
So I retreated to my office and tried to sort out what was on my mind. Initially the negative thoughts just kept on coming, to the point that I didn’t even like being with myself. As I thought about it, I realized that there was nothing specific that was bothering me; it was a general grumpiness, sense of foreboding, sadness.
I remembered feeling a bit like that last January. I thought it must have been the letdown after Christmas, or maybe the weight I gained over the holidays. When I really thought about it, most January months have found me with the same malaise.
Ah, the dreaded SAD, or seasonal affective disorder.
Past experience has taught me that if I don’t get proactive, this SAD will just spiral out of control. Although the winter has just barely started, so far it has been brutal, with five major storms already, and it’s only January 5th.
The experts are not sure what causes SAD, or this sadness at the same time each year, but they all agree that it may be caused by a lack of sunlight. The usual symptoms are what I have described above, but also less interest in regular activities and a craving for carbohydrates, such as bread and pasta.
The solution is usually light therapy, and I would add to that a healthy diet, some form of exercise, and getting outside every day, no matter the weather. That usually helps to keep the negativity at bay and to be more positive.
That’s my plan anyway.
Today I am grateful:
1. For a husband who can tolerate my moods
2. For a reprieve from the cold temps
3. For a little outing with Aaron yesterday
4. For a lavender bath and a good night’s sleep
5. For food in the fridge and gas in the car