Accepting Responsibility Precipitates Positive Change


Positively No Negativity Challenge

Day 53 of 84

 They say that most major positive changes in a person’s life are preceded by an acceptance of self- responsibility. I have seen this time and again in my own life and in the lives of the people around me. There is a certain false comfort in being able to blame someone else for our situation, and as long as we are stuck in that ‘blame’ and ‘it’s not my fault’ condition, we will continue to sit in our negativity rut.

Two years ago my jeans were getting uncomfortably tight and when my arms were at my sides I could feel an expanding muffin top. Well that’s just another way of saying that I was gaining weight.

But it wasn’t my fault, right?

After all, I was just trying to keep up with my husband’s eating. I couldn’t eat something different from him, could I? Also, we were frequently invited to eat at other peoples’ places and there is no way I could insult them by not eating what they had so lovingly prepared.

It was a time of my life when age, hormones and a depressed mood played a large role. The more weight I gained, the more depressed and negative I got. My self-image was in the gutter. I thought that’s what happens to women of ‘a certain age’ and there was nothing I could do about it.

Excuses, excuses, excuses.

And then one day something snapped. I decided that no one was going to take care of my weight but me. I could not control what other people around me were eating any more than I could control what our hosts would prepare for us. The only person I could control was me.

I had to stop blaming everyone else for something that only I could deal with. In other words, I finally started to accept responsibility for my weight, life and mood. No one could do it for me, although others could support my efforts, and they did.

So I started following a sensible food plan and I developed a strategy for my weak moments.  I spoke up when we were invited out, first of all by taking smaller portions, eating slowly and then when dessert was offered I said I was too full; I couldn’t eat another bite, but I would love a cup of tea. It worked. I found that saying that I was full garnered more support than saying I was on a diet. If you’re ‘on a diet’ you can make an exception. If you’re full, then there’s no room for discussion.

The next thing I did was to ask my husband to hide his junk food. I explained to him that when these foods were lying around, I just didn’t have the strength or the will power to put them away without eating some.

Anything you ask nicely without placing blame gets a good result.

 I managed to lose close to twenty pounds by eating healthy and exercising, but firstly by accepting responsibility for my weight. As the weight came off, the endorphins settled in and I became a much more positive person. Actually the healthy food I was eating enticed Dave because it was so good.

We both benefited in so many ways, all because I stopped making excuses and started accepting responsibility for my own condition.

Is there something that you could take responsibility for today? Is it something that you are making excuses for and blaming someone else for?  Is it keeping you in a negative life pattern?

Today I am grateful:

1. For fresh vegetables, so colorful on my plate

2. For having company to go to the Christmas farm market this morning

3. That Mom has had five good days in a row!

4. For an almost empty grocery store shopping experience yesterday (we did the Christmas groceries at 7h)

5. For a visit with a friend who is recuperating from surgery


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