The Walking Wounded

Positively No Negativity Challenge

Day 50 of 84

Negative people tend to stick together. Did you ever notice that? It stands to reason however, because when you see the world as gloom and doom, you really don’t want to be around someone who is a perky ray of sunshine. Why is that? Is there comfort in negativity?

Several years ago I went through a divorce that left me catatonic and depressed for a long time. Close friends and family closed ranks around my kids and I, helping us get through the worst of it. They commiserated with me, sympathized with me and in general, were there for me whenever I needed to just vent.

They told me what a dirty rotten stinker my ex was. At first that made me feel a little better, but after awhile it stopped being helpful. About four months after my separation I found myself in a totally female and negative world. I walked, ate and breathed negativity. It seemed that the only thing people wanted to talk to me about was my ex.

However, worse than that were the new people who popped up in my life that were also newly separated or divorced. I met them in my community and on dating sites online. Many were bitter, disillusioned and vindictive toward their exes. They just could not move beyond what had happened to them and get on with their lives. I became just like them and stayed like that until the day I realized I had joined the ranks of ‘the walking wounded’ of divorce.

I decided to get out and make some new friends; people who didn’t know me in my married life: friends who would take me at face value and not talk about my past. I moved forward.

I found that hanging out with positive people, one couple in particular, who could talk about concepts and events rather than engage in negative conversation about people was a balm to my soul. We went hiking together, we ate together and we had some wonderful talks.

We didn’t gossip.

And as I slowly healed from my divorce, I replaced the negative thoughts and brooding with positive thoughts and activities. I stopped thinking about my problems and I laughed more. It’s very hard to be negative when you’re laughing.

Since that time, whenever my thoughts tend toward the fatalistic and negative, I think of ‘the walking wounded’, and decide not to join them. Yesterday Dave and I were talking about Christmas and my son and daughter-in-law’s arrival in a few days. I told him that I am going to put the concerns of the past few weeks on the proverbial shelf and enjoy a good time, have fun and laughter with my precious family. The concerns will still be there when everyone is gone.

And then I will take up my knitting…

Today I am grateful:

1. That Mom has felt a little better the past two days (prayer really works)

2. That someone has made an offer on my car and is supposed to pick it up in four days (prayer works)

3. For shopping for grandchildren. What a happy time!

4. That this blog is helping some people to be more positive

5. For a nice Lebanese supper last evening with Aaron and Dave


3 thoughts on “The Walking Wounded

  1. Appreciate your posts Christine. Beautiful photo!


  2. Trauma comes in all sorts of forms. I wish we understood it better, and how to accept and heal it.


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